A new beginning: Level 3 Day 1: Nurturing the new

So today we start this new level of living… not very different for me, as I continue to work from home and Reuben to do schooling from home, although on Friday we plan to have fish and chips from our favourite Melanesia Rd shop. If anything, expectations rise a little, as we can now deliver worship kits for people in the parish. I think weariness is beginning to show, as I enter a new week and I relfect on the tiring nature of change.

Yesterday I spent some time in our glass house -one of my favourite places, where I can nurture growth and see it actually happening before my eyes. But in this space I also see the challenges to growth. When too many seeds are sown (a common failing of mine), and then left in a small pot, the need for pricking out becomes urgent -and tedious. Each precious seedling needs to be taken from its crammed position, and moved to a place where there is room to grow. A place they no longer have to fight others and distort themselves to reach the sun. They need time now to get used to this new place, they need to be nurtured even more so they can grow in this new place. Change is part of growth for these seedlings, but they need some help.

What help do you need in order to grow in this new space we find ourselves in? I realise my need for conversation which usually just happened in the old world now needs to be consciously nurtured. It is important in this phase to take stock and see what we need in order to grow healthily in times of such enourmous change.

Lockdown Day 31: Remembering Peace

Standing at dawn was a special moment this morning -together in our apartness, seeing the lights of others gathered at their gateways too. Our homemade ANZAC lanterns lit the darkness before the sun began to rise. We stood at a place so familiar. A gateway is a special place -it is where we welcome guests and we say farewell. It is where we discover mail or continue to hope for another day.

We have gateways in all sorts of contexts, some incredible ornate, others more simple. A gateway special to many New Zealanders is the gateway to Parihaka Marae -a driveway where children skipped out to welcome the troops coming to arrest and destroy. Now there is a memorial to remind us of those days. They are part of the stories I remember at ANZAC -our stories of fighting and stories of peace -from the small stories to the large ones, each with their ownc significance.

A quote from Mother Teresa, says “If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other." Surely in these days, and today on ANZAC Day in lockdown, we remember that we belong to each other.

Lockdown Day 30: Poppy making

Tomorrow is ANZAC Day and instead of services, we are invited to Stand at Dawn… to be at our gates for 2 minutes silence at 6am and then listen to the service broadcast on RNZ. With Pippins and Brownies I have made lanterns out of milk bottles with poppies drawn on the side. Reuben’s schoolwork has involved creating poppies and Facebook has many ideas for poppies to go with our bears in windows and on our fences.

The red or Flanders poppy has been linked with battlefield deaths since the Great War (1914–18). The plant was one of the first to grow and bloom on battlefields in the Belgian region of Flanders. The connection was made, most famously, by Lieutenant-Colonel John McCrae, a Canadian medical officer in his poem, 'In Flanders fields', written after conducting a funeral of a friend who died in battle.

The poppy became a symbol of keeping the faith –to not forget what these people died for. They quickly became the chosen symbol of remembrance and then the method of fundraising for RSAs around the world.  Although poppies are not for sale this year due to COVID19, the poppy will still be seen in our communities.

So as we make our poppies in the manse, we will remember them. But we will also recognise that the poppy is not only the symbol of mass suffering and sacrifice, it is also the symbol of hope –that life comes from those places of suffering. The poppy seeds in the glasshouse will grow, because out of death, comes life.

Lockdown Day 29: Autumn Pools

Back on Lockdown Day 1 in my first blog for these strange days, I moved from the owls we had drawn in our bubble to my favourite psalm –psalm 84. And today, all these days on, I am returning to this psalm, but this time in a different way. Prior to the bit about the sparrow finding her home at God’s altar, are these words –

How lovely is your dwelling place, Lord Almighty!
2 My soul yearns, even faints, for the courts of the Lord;
my heart and my flesh cry out for the living God.

The psalmist is writing about his yearning to be in the Temple in Jerusalem... how blessed to be able to gather together there. He writes about all those who have set their hearts on pilgrimage, in order that they might one day gather together.

In this psalm, I am reminded that we do not do this church online thing as an end in itself, but rather as part of our pilgrimage back together.

The pilgrimage is a long one for the psalmist –taking him through the Valley of the Baka –baka being a particular tree, but the meaning of the valley’s name being a place of weeping or mourning. As they pass through this dry, arid place where the only water is tears, it becomes a place of springs –the psalmist refers to the autumn pools. And so as I look at the increasing signs of autumn out my window, I pray that those autumn pools will seep into any arid ground of our beings.

For us, like the psalmist, it is also a long pilgrimage, before we can gather together. It is a journey which takes us through those arid places, where the only water is our tears. And yet, in this pilgrimage, the psalmist writes of moving from strength to strength as they draw nearer to the Temple.

Back in Day 1, I wrote of the interconnectedness between home and church. Between the place we make our nest and the place we find God’s altar. I suggested the altar is closer to home than we realise. That within our bubbles we might discover afresh that it could be a place of worship; and a dwelling place of God.  

My hope is that in these days you have found strength for your journey; that you have felt the autumn rains reach the dry ground in your deepest self. That your own tables have been places where God is present, and that that will continue in the days ahead, for there is still further to travel apart before we gather once more as a worshipping community.

May you have strength for your journey.

Lockdown Day 28: Numbers and Counting

Each day at 1pm, I listen to our nation’s leaders reporting on the reality of COVID19 here in Aotearoa New Zealand. I listen firstly to a series of numbers –the number of new cases –including ways transmitted; the current number of those with the virus; the number of deaths; and the number of those who are now well again. We hear numbers of tests done and we are now also getting the numbers of rule breaches under lockdown. We are becoming used to this list of numbers and we know the numbers we are hoping for. In a world where these numbers are horrifying, I feel very fortunate I am living in this country where each COVID19 death is able to be individually acknowledged by our PM.

As I reflect on all these numbers, that at times feel overwhelming, I am reassured by Jesus’ words in the Gospel of Matthew (10: 29-31), when he says  Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered.  So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows. 

So many numbers, but the reality is that underlying all these numbers, each one counts. God counts each one. God cares for each individual -each one is important. So amidst these numbers, may we remember that underneath all the counting, are individuals –you and me –your neighbour and my neighbour - those we can reach out to and ensure they know they matter -they count.

Lockdown Day 27: Rainbows and Korus

Before lockdown Level 4 we at KPC had a service of worship in which our 70+ers were asked not to attend… it was a difficult space and the children made rainbows for folk to take home and hang in their windows… a sign of hope for those walking past. At that stage, I don’t think any of us really grasped how significant windows would become in our lives -as we would walk each day around our own local communities. We bought a large wooden rainbow which I used in that last children’s talk just before lockdown, and we then put it in our living room as our own personal reminder of hope.

Early on in lockdown, Reuben was playing with the rainbow and formed a colourful koru design with it. I took a photo of it and it seems timely now to go back to that image and reflect on it. In this redesign of the rainbow, hope becomes a journey of growth. It is an image that also reminds me of the labyrinth -another image of journeying, inward and outward.

Isaiah 40: 31 tells us that those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. I had not really grasped how much movement there is in this image until now. Soaring, running, walking... Hope brings movement. It is the loss of hope that so often brings stagnation and paralysis. Perhaps hope is the best remedy for our fears, enabling us to move forward, however tentatively.

Lockdown Day 26: Responsibility and Trust

So, we now have an idea of what our next few weeks will look like -another week of level 4, then into level 3 for a fortnight. And it seems to me the key requirement being asked of us is around responsibility. I don’t think I have ever before consciously looked at the link between responsibility and trust, but it has always been an expectation of God’s people. Back in the rules given to the people of Israel, found in Deuteronomy 2, it is clear -Do not have two differing weights in your bag—one heavy, one light. Do not have two differing measures in your house—one large, one small. You must have accurate and honest weights and measures, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you. 

It is clear -whether at home in your bubble or heading out, we are to be trustworthy in our responsibility. Our country needs us to behave with responsibility and we are being trusted to do so. It is a mature way of behaving. It reminds me of parenting -as children grow and they start to make decisions for themselves, you have this basis of morality that you have taught and you then have to trust that as you let go the proverbial apron strings, they will behave accordingly. In our COVID 19 reality, we have been taught, over and over, to be kind, and we have been taught what that kindness will look like. Now as the freedom is increased, it is up to us to show that we have learned kindness and can be trusted to behave responsibly. We must not go thinking we can have two different ways to measure -one for me and one for others. It is that simple -and yet that difficult. I suspect the difficulty is in our ego -that we somehow think we should be the exception. Perhaps then building on from patience in this lockdown experience, is humility. Seeing the other as just as important as self. Time will tell what we have learnt.

The picture below is part of a major creative effort of Reuben this weekend -building the Beehive out of lego -this floor depicting what has become a familiar and reassuring event in our lives in lockdown.

Lockdown Day 24: Patience

Yesterday we managed to film the service for tomorrow. It felt so good geting it filmed two whole days ahead of time… all done late Friday afternoon. In days pre lockdown I would be super impressed with myself. But we are not in those days. And it isn’t all done. You see, the joys of technology means there is a whole lot more that actually needs to be done. The “I want it now” in me that surfaces is struggling to be suppresed as we keep learning what this new process involves. For those of you who know Willy Wonker and the chocolate factory, will remember Veruca Salt, when she turns to her Daddy and says “I don’t care how, I want it now!” That is what I find myself thinking when it comes to uploading services! Not very helpful though. I’ve always known that patience is not my good suit when it comes to fruits of the Spirit, but this is a blunt reminder. It is times like these when we discover again our own flaws. Galatians 5: 22-23 list the fruits of the Spirit as love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. We are constantly being reminded to choose kindness, but maybe we also need to reach into the other fruits in the bowl. For today, I will work on patience… whilst being very thankful that Amelia has more patience than I.

Lockdown Day 23: Disruption

There is an old word that is getting a new lease on life in these times -the word is Disruption. The Bangkok Post business headline recently was Disruption is the new normal. Our world is changing at an accelerating pace. And we as individuals are also experiencing huge disruption -the changes that are happening within our loss of freedom and the need to see others as a key reason for our own behaviour. This new way of living with need rather than want. This new realisation of what we had as community.

This moment of disruption is a time in which we will be changed. Psalm 18 talks of the psalmist crying out to the Lord in distress, and there is this image of God responding by entering the dark clouds. We are surely in a time of dark clouds, and we have a precedent of God entering the darkness. Over and over again through history, God enters the darkness, in order to transform it.

As a leader I want to see, when we finally get to that new dawn of a new normal, that we have drawn closer to God in the dark times. That we have got stronger as we lived through hard times of juggling work and childcare; of seeing our work diminishing before us, of losing the community we have previously taken for granted. So in these strange times, I challenge you to take time to look for God in the dark cloud of disruption.

Lockdown Day 22: Looking ahead with new eyes

Tonight we have been in lockdown for three weeks. It is hard to comprehend those pre lockdown days –days when we had no comprehension of what this life would look like. It is as if we have all been given a new way of seeing the world. In fighting loss of life and loss of livelihood, our world has dramatically changed right through from the personal level to the international. Now we are beginning to comprehend another way of living –the waiting room stage as we wait to see if what has been done has worked. Waiting to see if we then move back to level 4 or on to level 2. We remain in our bubble although it can be extended in a small way. We move from essential operations only to safe operations only. That means for us at KPC, we are looking to continue in our current method.  At level 3, we will continue to not have gathered services of worship or other gatherings such as mainly music. We now know we will be able to lead funeral services at level 3, but only with up to ten people present.

Getting used to this new way of seeing our world takes time. But as I reflect on this, I see a similarity with the process after making a decision to follow Jesus. We are given this new way to see our own personal lives –the way we live our day to day life, and the way we see the world –created and loved by God, and needing our love too. And just as we see a range of responses in our community to level 4 lockdown, new Christians also respond in different ways to this new way of being. Some aspects of this new way of living are easier than others, depending on personality and living environment. There is always a choice not to see the world in this new way, but as we live in this new way for a longer time, it becomes more difficult to ignore. Having walked this way of following Jesus for so many decades, this vision has become my dominant way of being, my more “natural” reaction, just as we now “naturally” ensure a 2m distance from those outside our bubble. We learn what then becomes normal. My prayer is that we continue to learn what following Jesus means, so our “normal” will most often be the way of love.  

Lockdown Day 21: New Beginnings

Today is the first day of Term 2 so we began the whole home schooling thing online. We dealt with frustrations of an overloaded system, delight in seeing familiar faces and some sense of a routine beginning and school work accomplished. I also recieved a timely email from my sister Debbie with a series of permission slips for parents -instead of focussing on the ways we mess up, we give ourselves permission to be human… permission to be imperfect, to feel feelings, to be a work in progress, not to solve problems, to have boundaries, to parent differently, to be silly, to have a bad day, to have limits to what you can do, to take time by yourself, to not know everything, and to seek help. Important to remember in these days, whether we are parenting children or not.

To add to our new beginnings today, and more exciting than school starting back was the arrival of the SPCA van this morning delivering a puppy needing a home during lockdown. Her name is Alma and amidst all the change she is experiencing, she is already thriving on cuddles -of which there are plenty here.

This morning’s psalm was Psalm 36: 5-9  Your steadfast love, O Lord, extends to the heavens, your faithfulness to the clouds. Your righteousness is like the mighty mountains, your judgements are like the great deep; you save humans and animals alike, O Lord. How precious is your steadfast love, O God! All people may take refuge in the shadow of your wings. They feast on the abundance of your house, and you give them drink from the river of your delights. For with you is the fountain of life; in your light we see light.

A puppy is a precious reminder of our need to snuggle into a safe place when things are changing all around us. We too can take refuge -snuggle in- in the shadow of the wings of our God of steadfast love.·

Lockdown Day 20: Leading Change

Easter Monday was finally a day off for me, and one in which our whole family sorted Reuben’s lego…. ice cream containers from the garage that had been heading to the SPCA were repurposed and bins of mixed up pieces were one by one taken apart and placed acording to size and shape. It was a big job but incredibly satisfying to place the icecream containers on the shelf.

Today, Tuesday is the last day of the school holidays for Reuben, so another kind of organisation is needed. He needs to work out how to access more than School talk and DIsney plus on his chromebook…. now words like Google Hangout and Google Meet have become normal parts of conversation and required for learning. Tomorrow morning he will sign in for a new term online and school hours diminish to 9-noon. Afternoons are now for parents to help their children with arts, crafts, physical exercise and scientific exploration. More organisation required when parents learn to juggle this with their own work.

And so we head into a new rhythm… more change and more adaptation and flexibility needed. As a church leader I have been managing change for the last month, and it has taken significant energy. But as I reflect, I realise I am also a change manager at home, with all the same skills utilised. We have some amazing role models in change management as a country and we can learn much from them. Communication, calm presence, honesty, warmth, empathy and a good plan become vital ingredients. We need all that at a national level, and we need it at a personal level. Leading Change is the subject I teach at KCML so I am particularly aware at this time of the valuable resource we are witnessing. However many are in our bubble, we can help ourselves and others, if we take some time to think sbout how we are managing all the changes we are currently experiencing. On Easter Sunday, I used a lovely image that was shared on Facebook saying a lot can happen in a week. A reminder that Jesus too experience huge changes in a short space of time. Peoples’ attitudes to him changed -both officials and friends. His life experience changed. And Jesus managed to journey through those changes, knowing his ultimate plan, with a calm presence, honesty, warmth and empathy.

Lockdown Day 18: Easter Sunday

Easter Sunday is the day when we rediscover our Alleluias. Alleluias experienced this year in bubbles; in teddy bears with bunny ears and coloured eggs, and in walks that see afresh the beauty in our local community.

As Mary wept at the tomb, Jesus spoke her name and she recognised him. It was an alleluia moment. Not fully understood, but what alleluias are? Even when we don’t fully comprehend the way God is meeting us in our pain, we still are empowered to find a deeply held alleluia. What we see makes no sense, but that is where Jesus calls our name. We have a choice to find something we can be thankful for, even in our anxiety and confusion. Today, on Easter Sunday, more than ever.

In the Easter story we see the different characters respons to their pain in different ways, just as we each respond differently in these days. But we see Jesus meets each one in the place they are, just as Jesus will meet us. Like Mary, we may be blinded by our tears for a time. Like John, we might need to make space to think things through in quite a cerebral way. Like Peter, we may find ourselves impulsively able to believe. But somehow all three make this journey with Jesus, from death to life.

In this time when our world is facing the reality of death, we are being called to live as resurrection. To let Allelulias still take their place in our very being. Because Jesus’ resurrection is for this very time and space. It is to the shadows and death that Jesus speaks most powerfully, and within those shadows we are empowered to respond with Alleluias.

The power of the resurrection is that its power remains amidst the pain of our shared humanity.

Easter is a big shout of protest to all that is death.

Easter is a defiant act against all that suppresses life.

Easter is choosing to stay home whilst reaching out as a welcoming people.

Easter is courageously going out to work in the essential services.

Easter persists in loving triumph, through hundreds of small things each day as we choose to live our alleluias.

At the manse, today we found the Alleluia banner made in the early days of lockdown, and we have hung it in our home.

And so as we reach the culmination of our Holy Week Journey which actually is the beginning of our Easter Journey, I light a candle beside my final square –the white one that is spacious and open and welcoming. Here today, celebrating the resurrection of Jesus, we choose to hold Alleluias in our hearts.

Lockdown Day 17: Easter Saturday

After the busyness of Good Friday filled with walks, baking hot cross buns, making Easter gardens and retelling the familiar stories, we then come to today. A day of nothing. A day of waiting. A day of holding space. Too late to say anything we might have wanted to say. Too soon to do something that might help us grieve. And the day can feel like forever.

Easter Saturday epitomises the many times in our lives we have to wait –and these times of lockdown are yet another one of these times –if extraordinary of its kind. We may fill the waiting time with tasks that must be done, or with things we would otherwise not choose... but amidst the time –whether full or not, we wait. We wait for more than life to resume as it once was... we wait for new life, when we have a chance to live differently.

A poem:

How long can Easter Saturday last? Waiting for the rock to be moved for life and love to be fully entered What angel will move the rock So I in tears might see what is before me

And so as we journey, drawing so close to the beginning, .I light a candle beside my seventh square –the one that is completely dark… the place I must remain for a time.

Lockdown Day 16: Good Friday

Today is Good Friday. The ground is shaky and the shadows are growing, even to the point of ultimate darkness. Jesus’ death is this act of complete isolation, amidst betrayal, denial and forsakenness. Our creeds speak of Jesus descending into hell –the ultimate place of separation from the community we were created for. Utter isolation.

As I walked this morning with those in my isolated bubble, using the KPC reflective walk I became aware again of the pain in our shared humanity. Amidst the beauty of sunshine, beach and bush, found in my local community, there is also the shadow of death. Today the second death from Covid 19 was recorded in Aotearoa, and I am reminded of the shadow we live under. As we walked we wore the crosses we had created with care and delight, but they too are this mix of beauty and pain. They speak of our humanity –a mix of beauty and pain. Even within my own small bubble, there are shadows. Shadows I have a choice to lessen by drawing closer to the source of Light and choosing that way of costly love.

And so as we journey our way through another day of Holy Week, I light a candle beside my sixth square –the red one that reminds me of the blood of Jesus –bled out of costly love for a world in pain.

Lockdown Day 15: Maundy Thursday

It is Holy Thursday, or Maundy Thursday, and we come to the day when the disciples’ first question was Jesus, where do you want us to make preparations for you to eat the Passover?

Jesus has it all planned –a man in Jerusalem will host all of them to share Passover together. So the day is spent in preparation and when the evening comes, there are Jesus and the twelve disciples all reclining at the table, eating the Passover meal. And in the middle of eating, Jesus says –One of you will betray me...  not your typical mealtime conversation. And so they all start to ask Jesus who he was talking about. Judas feels the accusation –surely not me?

And out of this uncomfortable conversation, Jesus then took bread, gave thanks, broke it and offered it to the disciples, saying, take, eat, this is my body. And also with the cup, saying, drink this –all of you, this is the blood of the covenant poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins. This is the last wine I will drink until I drink it new with you in my Father’s kingdom. And then they all sang a hymn together around the table, before heading out to the Mt of Olives. There Jesus warns the disciples –they will all fail... Peter jumps in –I won’t fail you Jesus... and so Jesus tells him that yes, he too will fail. Not once, but three times.

The group then walk on to Gethsemane –a lovely garden, where Jesus wants them to pray. But it is getting really late and it has been a long day. They are exhausted. Although Jesus asks them to stay awake with him to pray, they sleep. Jesus is overwhelmed by what is about to happen, and is enormously let down by his sleeping friends. He must pray alone –if it is possible, don’t make me drink this cup.  But let your will be done. Eventually he wakes them in his frustration and they are wakened not by Jesus but by a large crowd appearing with clubs and swords. Judas betrays Jesus with a kiss and he is arrested. There is some resistance but Jesus tells his disciples to stop. This is not the time for resistance. And all the disciples flee.  Jesus is left arrested and deserted by his friends. Completely isolated.

There follows a weird search for false witnesses to prove the improvable. Finally all they can accuse is that he had said he could destroy the Temple and rebuild it in three days. Jesus remains silent at the accusations, only answering with “you say that I am” when asked if he is the Messiah. The high priest tears his clothes in despair and accuses Jesus of blasphemy –the ultimate irony. The people call for his death. They spit on him, punch him and mock him.

But still the dark night is not over. Peter then denies him three times just as predicted, before the rooster crows. He weeps bitterly at his failure.

It is a night of many failures.

But amidst the failures, we see Jesus’ commitment to remain at the table with those who fail. When we live closely with one another in a bubble, failures may become more apparent. Are we willing to remain at the table and continue to love through failure, through betrayl, through desertion?

And so as we work our way through another day of Holy Week, .I light a candle beside my fifth square –the one with a patterned piece (check out the close up photo below) -a mix of good and bad intwined together… one which becomes the table I choose to remain at.

Lockdown Day 14: Holy Wednesday

Today is Wednesday of Holy Week and we remember Jesus is in Bethany. Here we read he is with Simon the Leper –a man whom scholars seem to endlessly try and identify with someone else, with little success. It seems to me this man is simply another character in the story –one we could spend endless time imagining a life story around. We can assume he is still identified by what he once was, a leper. His role as host affirms he is no longer a leper, so we can guess that he is one of those healed by Jesus. Here he is living out his response –offering hospitality. We can guess that this hospitality is still new, as he learns how to live back in community having been isolated for so long. It makes me ponder on what things I will need to relearn when I leave my isolation.

However, today I want to focus on what happens as these men recline around the dining table. Remembering this is a world of gender division –when visitors came, men were in one room, and women in another. Women isolated from men. In walks a woman with an alabaster jar of expensive perfume. She pours it on Jesus’ head. The disciples are indignant –on so many levels. The one they voice is indignance at the waste –money that could have been spent for the poor. Jesus tells them the poor will always be there to give to, I won’t –and this is a beautiful thing that has been done for me.

I wonder if the disciples’ indignance went deeper than their voiced concern for the poor. Perhaps that was the easiest part to voice. This woman had entered their male world, and done something they had not done –something that obviously Jesus so appreciated. And she had performed the priestly act of anointing –another act isolated from women. Maybe that was all wrapped up in their response too. They are challenged by boundaries being crossed, barriers being broken down. They are challenged by what they had failed to give. Jesus is not saying that the poor are not important –he is simply recognising the gift in this moment –no excuses. That is worth remembering. And in other versions we read of the fragrance filling the house. We see this act of worship in all its beauty then starkly contrasted with Judas’ betrayal. Judas leaves the table. He seeks out the chief priests and asks what he will get for his betrayal -30 pieces of silver.

The woman comes to the table. Judas leaves the table.

Amidst all the rules of isolation, Jesus remains at the table inviting us to join. We have a choice, to draw near in costly worship, to moan when others don’t follow our rules or to leave the table in betrayal.

And so as we work our way through another day of Holy Week, .I light a candle beside my fourth square –the place where I choose to worship…

Lockdown Day 13: Holy Tuesday

On Monday night of holy week Jesus went to Bethany and we assume he and the disciples stayed with Mary, Martha and Lazarus... Then early on Tuesday morning they head back into Jerusalem. Jesus goes back to the Temple courts to teach there. After all the frustrations of yesterday, Jesus is willing to return. Willing to go back to the place where he had struggled. And he told a story about one son who said he would do something and didn’t, and another son who initially refused but then did it. And then a story of the owner of a vineyard who sent workers to collect the harvest, but were murdered… so he sent his son instead, in the belief that he would be respected… but he too was killed. So the owner would get rid of those tenants and put in new tenants who would give him his share of the crop at harvest time. The Pharisees heard him and knew Jesus was referring to them as the first tenants, so they were even more determined to get rid of Jesus. Only the fear of the crowd stopped them. Jesus continued teaching, leading to his powerful answer to the Pharisees’ question about the greatest commandment. Jesus tells them it is to ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ And the second, he says, is like it: ‘Love your neighbour as yourself.’  All the Law and the Prophets, Jesus says, hang on these two commandments.” Jesus goes on to ask the Pharisees what they think about the Messiah, and warns them against hypocrisy. It is as if Jesus is making this last attempt to open the eyes of the Pharisees. He is still not willing to give up on them. He never is. I am challenged by this deep commitment to those who chose not to understand.

Then Jesus heads to the Mt of Olives –and as they leave the Temple, the disciples comment on the beauty of the Temple, and Jesus tells them it will all disappear. When they get to the Mount of Olives, away from the busy city streets, Jesus sits with the disciples in the cool of the end of the day, and teaches them. He teaches them about what was to come, taking time to answer their many questions. I’m not sure they understand any more than the Pharisees did, but they want to learn.

Tuesday of Holy Week is a day of teaching... of Jesus teaching those who wanted to learn and those who didn’t. We too have a choice this Holy Tuesday: how will we respond to the teaching of Jesus? Our response will not change Jesus’ willingness to teach, but it will change us.

And so as we work our way through another day of Holy Week, .I light a candle beside my third square -moving from the triumphal entry, through the place of struggle, to the place of teaching… 

Lockdown Day 12 Holy Monday

Holy week has begun…. Jesus has entered Jerusalem and the first place he heads to is the Temple. And what he finds there makes him really angry. In Matthew 21 we read -

12 Jesus entered the temple courts and drove out all who were buying and selling there. He overturned the tables of the money changers and the benches of those selling doves. 13 “It is written,” he said to them, “‘My house will be called a house of prayer,’ but you are making it ‘a den of robbers.’

Imagine this chaotic scene. Imagine Jesus, entering this sacred space and starting to wreck things -money flying, tables collapsing, birds flying from their cages… Imagine the horror of those busy with tasks of worship.

Why do you think this scene was so deeply upsetting for Jesus? As I pondered this, two things stood out.

There amidst the stalls selling doves for peoples’ offering, we see significant injustice… folk would arrive from huge distances to make their offerings to God. Arriving at the Temple, they would need to buy the appropriate offering. This would first often mean having to exchange their currency to the local coinage. All of which had become a system for profit making. The place of worship had become a market place, where people would rip off anyone they could. Injustice had grown.

But secondly, we also get a glimpse of the way Jesus enters the Temple, and sees this place that was meant to exemplify God’s intent for life and hope and joy among the people. And Jesus sees the ways God’s intentions had not taken hold, and instead had become a place governed by costly rules. How he must have grieved over that reality. So perhaps these actions of Jesus that we interpret as anger, are deeply rooted in a sense of injustice or a sense of grief at what had been lost.

And that makes me wonder about our anger. What we know about anger is that it is a secondary emotion. Underneath anger, you will find primary emotions, like fear (which includes anxiety and worry) or sadness (which includes loss, disappointment or discouragement). WIth Jesus I think we see deep sadness.

In these days of lockdown when we might be feeling some very different and quite uncomfortable emotions, including both anxiety and loss, it will therefore be understandable to also feel anger. It will make us feel vulnerable and sometimes out of control. We might need to knock over -or at least address- some of the things that are causing those primary emotions. To use our energy to face the money changers -or whatever they might symbolise for you, to take back a sense of control. Seeing beyond the anger might be a useful step for today. To face into the things that diminsh our ability to find the sacred and meet with God.

And so as we work our way through a day of Holy Week, .I light a candle beside my second square -moving from the triumphal entry, to the Temple…

Lockdown Day 11: Palm Sunday

Today we enjoyed opening our Young Church kit -reading the story of Jesus’ entry into Jerusalem, making donkeys and palm branches, and sharing things we were grateful for… I am grateful for an early morning coffee on the deck with Richard, serenaded by our tui watching the wax eyes flitting around and delighting in the sunshine. The sun makes it easier to find reasons for praise, but there remains beneath it all a sombre reality -a shadow -not so different from the original Palm Sunday. This road we are on is not an easy road, but it is the road we are called to travel for this time. May we delight in the good things that come our way, even if it is the very stones that need to cry out in praise. Hosanna!